Will Herondale vs Ducks (feat Jem)
by rgwoodhar
Summary: Will and Jem are in the park. Will is reading a book while Jem is feeding the ducks. When Magnus appears and says that all ducks have turned demonic, what will Will and Jem do? Moral of the story: Will Herondale is utterly hopeless when it comes to ducks.


**This is a short story about Will Herondale and ducks. Me and James wrote this together, James is Jem and I am Will. Guys, James plays the best Jem Carstairs ever, so just saying. Enjoy!**

Will walked along the river, looking down at his boots. Jem was feeding some of the hungry ducks, as Will would always refuse to. Will then sat down at a bench and pulled out a book and reading glasses. "Will, come on, they don't bite!" Jem yelled.

"THEY ARE CANNIBALISTIC DUCKS JAMES!" He shouted back. Jem rolled his eyes, just as teeth sunk into his hand. He yelped, but the duck held on. Will jumped to his feet, pulling his seraph blade from his belt. "Avast ye beast!"

"WILL HANDS OFF THE DUCK!" Jem cut off with a hiss of pain as the duck let go and started biting at his foot.

"That infernal thing tried to hurt you!"

"It's a duck" Jem got up gingerly, staring at his hand. "It got hungry." Will rolled his eyes and deactivated his sword. When Jem turned away, Will glared at the duck. "Mark my words, infernal ducky. I will have my revenge."

Jem tossed the rest of the bread and chuckled at Will's response. "By the Angel, must you be so dramatic?"

"Being dramatic is my flair! While yours is just being... mundane."

"Was that supposed to be offensive? I know many great mundanes, William." Jem looked up at the cloudy sky.

"Like who?" Will asked, half scoffing. Jem rattled off a list of Chinese inventors as he drew an iratze on the back of his hand. Will felt himself drifting off to sleep, if not for an overly glittery warlock that appeared in front of him. "Magnus? What are you doing here?" he asked. Jem looked at them, and had the grace to blush slightly.

Magnus seemed to be in a rush. "Shadow Market. Rogue warlock. Ducks have turned demonic." Jem swore sharply in Mandarin. Will didn't know why but he began laughing.

"Will, it bit me !"

"I'm pretty sure that was before the ducks turned demonic," Will said, pointing to the group of ducks are began swimming towards them.

"Good." Jem glared.

"I never thought I'd ever say this Jem but, THE DUCKY APOCALYPSE IS UPON US!" Jem rolled his eyes.

Magnus has already disappeared. Jem sighed and lifted his walking stick. "Come and get us, ducks" he tried. He was mainly trying to humour Will.

"James, let's go!" Will shouted. "Israfel," he whispered, and his seraph blade activated.

"JEM CARSTAIRS THIS ISN'T A JOKE!" Will screamed, clearly frightened of the ducks. Will paused.

"Fine, fine." Jem lit up his own blade. "Michael."

"James, what if we get demon pox from the demon ducks? IT'LL BE A DEMON POX OUTBREAK! WE HAVE TO WARN THE CLAVE!" Will began running around in circles.

Jem sighed. "Will, seriously. They're ducks. The worst they'll do is bite you and quack."

"They will quack us to death! They will tie us up and quack! I will have nightmares for weeks! James, you have to help me!"

Jem sighed louder. "If you must, get on my shoulders. I'll fight them off."

Will regained his composure. "I appreciate the sentiment James. But really, you shouldn't be afraid." he said, totally ignoring the fact that he had freaked out earlier.

Jem looked amused. "Alright."

"Come on Carstairs. We got this," he said triumphantly.

Then he felt a small tug on his trouser. He looked behind him and jumped six metres into the air. "DUCK DUCK DUCK! KILL IT JAMES! KILL IT JAMES!" Jem tried not to laugh as he stabbed the duck with his blade.

"Ah, thank you Jem. Balance has been restored." Jem muttered something in Mandarin but didn't translate. He was still trying not to die of laughter. Will faced the ducks. They all have razor sharp teeth.

"Okay Will, you can do this." He told himself. "They're just ducks. They're just ducks." A voice in the back of his head argued with him. "HOLY FREAKING HELL THEY'RE DEMON DUCKS!"

Jem wondered vaguely if they always looked like that. Jem eyed Will for a moment before stabbing another duck for good measure.

Will began to hyperventilate. He thrust his blade back aimlessly. It stabbed a duck. When it quacked, Will screamed and actually jumped into Jem's arms. "Save me Jem," he whispered in his ear.

Jem held onto him. "Alright then, I shall." He stabbed the rest of the ducks with one hand. Once all the ducks in that area were dead, Will hopped down from James's back. "Thanks James! Now we just need to get away." He looked around. Oh bloody hell. The water began rising. They were stuck on the piece of island that grew smaller by the second. "WHOEVER IS DOING THIS, I WILL FIND YOU!"

Jem shook his head a bit. "Will, calm down."

"James," Will said as calmly as he could. "We are stuck on an island. Demon ducks are surrounding us. We are going to die."

"At least if there's a demon pox outbreak, it will die with us," he muttered. "Ave Atque Vale," he said to the air.

Jem rolled his eyes. "They're still ducks. What could they possibly do? And for the LAST TIME THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DEMON POX!"

"Just you wait Jem Carstairs. Someday, I will be right and none of you will know what to do."

"We won't lay with demons" Jem shrugged.

"Yes yes yes but what about Benedict?"

"YOU NEVER KNOW JEM"

Jem sighed. "Benedict Lightwood can lay with as many demons as he likes. He is not quite my concern."

"Lightworm, don't you mean?"

"Will."

"Besides," Will said, holding out his seraph blade, "we have bigger problems to worry about."

"Yes, your plague ducks." Will ignored him. Jem chuckled.

Will looked up at the sky. "MAGNUS WE NEED YOUR HELP!" He shouted. Jem kept the ducks at bay with his walking stick.

"You sure you need help?" asked a voice from above. "You guys look like you're having a quacking good time."

"MAGNUS NOT FUNNY!" Will screamed.

Jem waved good naturedly. "Hello Magnus."

"Get us out of here!" Will shouted.

"Welcome to the Duckaquackalypse" Jem put in.

"Now you're talking," Will replied with a grin. "But not now. Magnus save us!" Jem grinned. Magnus outstretched a hand and Will grabbed it. Will then offered a hand to Jem. Jem took it, shrugging.


End file.
